Family and Life Situations - Financial Wellness

What is it?

Throughout your life, you will face certain life-changing events. Some of these situations are unexpected and demand immediate action. For instance, you may have to plan the funeral of a loved one or decide how to care for an aging parent who suddenly needs a lot of help. Other situations arise less dramatically, with more time to plan. If you are engaged, for instance, you may have several months to deal with the financial implications of marriage. Whether the situation is expected or unexpected, you’ll need to consider how your needs have changed now that your life is changing. You’ll need to deal with money, legal, insurance, and estate planning issues and/or find quality care and support for your family members.

Family and life situations you may confront

Marriage

Because married couples frequently argue about money, it’s important for all couples who are marrying to discuss money issues. In particular, couples should talk about how they handle money, whether they should keep their finances separate, whether they should own property together, and how they will budget their money once they’re married. In addition, if you are getting married, you and your future spouse should determine whether you will need more or less insurance after marriage and figure out how you can best combine benefits you receive from your employers. You’ll also need to plan for the transfer of your assets, decide whether you need a prenuptial agreement, and plan for retirement together.

Living together as an unmarried couple

If you are planning on living together with another person as an unmarried couple, you’ll face most of the planning concerns that married couples face. However, unmarried couples also have special needs and concerns, particularly money and property ownership issues, that married couples don’t have to face. Since laws that affect couples are usually written with married couples in mind, they may not adequately protect the interests of unmarried couples.

Divorce

If you and your spouse are divorcing, you’ll need to alleviate some of the inevitable financial trauma that accompanies divorce. In particular, you’ll need advice about many issues, including child custody and child support, alimony, property settlements, tax planning and other financial and legal issues.

Birth or adoption of child with or without special needs

Families who have a child born to them or who adopt a child find quickly that the arrival of a child is a life-changing event. Life becomes more joyful and more complex as parents adjust their daily schedules, finances, and future plans to ensure that their child is well taken care of. If you are anticipating the arrival of a child, you’ll need to review your finances and budget, update your will, name a guardian for your child, and make sure that you have adequate health, life, and disability insurance.

If you want to adopt a child, you’ll need information on these topics and more. In particular, prospective adoptive parents need to know the ins and outs of the adoption process, and they need to consider the legal and financial issues surrounding adoption. If your child has special needs, you’ll need to find quality medical care or child care for your son or daughter; find resources and support groups throughout the community; and consider certain family and social issues that arise when a child with special needs is adopted or born.

Finding child care

If you decide to work or go back to work after your child is born, you must determine what kind of child care would be best for your child, find quality child care, and figure out how you will pay for child care. These issues are time-consuming for most parents, but parents of children with special needs may spend even more time researching child care due to more limited child-care options.

Caring for your aging parents

Because many adults today are becoming first-time parents in their thirties and others are remarrying and rearing second families, increasing numbers of adults are finding themselves in the “sandwich generation.” You may face having to pay expenses of growing children (including college expenses), plan for your own retirement, and support your aging parents financially. Even if your parents don’t need financial help, they will likely need help in other areas.

One of the first concerns that you will face when caring for your aging parents is getting the information you need to help your parents plan for the future. It means locating important documents and records and evaluating your parents’ need for housing, legal assistance, financial assistance, and medical assistance. You may need to rely heavily on resources and support available in their community, particularly when you live far away from your parents.

Planning a funeral

You may need to plan the funeral of a loved one or a family member or you may decide to plan your own funeral to lessen the burden on your family when you die. Although planning a funeral isn’t difficult, it’s often stressful, particularly when you must plan a funeral when you’re grieving. There’s no right or wrong way to plan a funeral but you or your family members will have to consider your own preferences, tastes, and traditions. In addition, funerals can be expensive, and for many people, figuring out how to pay for a funeral is important. If you’re planning your own funeral, you’ll have time to put your wishes in writing and investigate options, with or without the help of a funeral director.

alancing Work and Family

At one time, the typical American family looked like this: a breadwinner father who commuted a short distance to work and earned a very good living, and a stay-at-home mother who took care of the kids and family home with aplomb. Life seemed easy and manageable, with plenty of time for family meals, parent relaxation, and important life lesson discussions, and little in the way of work or technological distractions.

Today, things are different. There are many more two-parent dual-income families and single-parent households, along with increased work expectations, longer commutes, and a 24/7 mindset. The result is often a more harried existence for today’s parents as they try to balance their work commitments and family obligations — a juggle that is one of the major issues people face during their working years. Yet day after day, week after week, year after year, millions of families survive and thrive, despite their busy schedules. So how do they do it?

Achieving a balance between work and family is a highly personal endeavor. There is no magic formula, and what works for one family may not work for another. It takes planning and resolve, and you’ll need to make choices along the way that align with what’s important to you. As you think about your own plan to balance work and family, here are some things you might consider.

First, decide what you want

Whether you’re single or married, in your 20s, 30s, or 40s, thinking about children or already have them, you need to know what’s important to you. Is your job important for financial reasons, personal satisfaction, or both? What kind of parent do you want to be? Are you happy in your current job? Is it a job that’s compatible with raising a family?

These are questions you should spend some time considering. Once you’ve envisioned the type of life you want, you can strive for it and make decisions along the way to help you get there. As with anything, there will likely be tradeoffs along the way.

Pick the right partner

In an oft-repeated message, Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook, remarked that one of the most important things you can do for your work/family balance is to pick the right partner. She was talking to women, but the advice applies equally to men. Do you share the same ideas about work, raising children, and household responsibilities? Are you both willing to embrace a 50-50 partnership and share household and child responsibilities to help support your partner’s ability to work? Do you value the goals and aspirations of the other? When both sides have similar ideas on work and family, there’s a better chance of balancing both successfully.

Think about your career

Not all careers and jobs are created equal. Some involve more hours, more face time, more stress, and more travel. Your work can be a huge part of your life, so think carefully about whether your work will allow you (or is allowing you) to be the parent you want to be. You may land a well-paying but demanding job only to realize later that the long hours aren’t compatible with raising a family in the way you would like. Women are more often affected by this situation, in part because fewer working women than men have stay-at-home spouses.

Along with your salary, consider the workplace flexibility and employee benefits that your job offers, including maternity and paternity leave. If you were to take a leave of absence from your job for a few months or years, would it be relatively easy or difficult to step back in where you left off?

Now, it’s time for the juggle…

Let’s assume you’re in the trenches trying to balance work and family. The details are different for everyone, but there are a few common themes.

Sync your work and child-care schedules

For employed parents, child care is often necessary. A detailed comparison of day-care centers, home day care, and visiting or live-in nannies is beyond the scope of this discussion, but obviously you need to evaluate your child-care options and select the one that best meets your needs. That is no small feat. And once you’ve made your decision, consider reviewing it periodically to make sure it continues to be a good fit for your child.

Your day-care provider will likely become a big part of your life, and your weekly routine will involve navigating the transition between your job and day care. In two-parent families, spouses may trade off this responsibility (e.g., one spouse drops off in the morning and the other picks up in the afternoon). To help in this effort, many parents rely on flexible work schedules, such as flex hours (e.g., 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.), working from home one or more days a week, working four longer days instead of five regular days, or working part-time.

In some cases, a flexible work arrangement can be the deciding factor on whether you can remain in the workforce and earn a living, so it doesn’t hurt to ask your employer. If you’d like to modify your current schedule, think about your ideal work arrangement, then request a meeting with your manager to discuss your well-thought-out proposal.

If a flexible work arrangement isn’t possible, you’ll have to decide whether you want to make a change. Some parents may decide to continue in their current job despite the inflexibility, while others may look for another job or leave the workforce altogether. And some parents may decide to move to a lower-cost area in order to get by on one income or a reduced income, or move closer to extended family who might be able to help with child care. There are no right answers, only what works for you and your family.

Stay organized and share the to-do list

Staying organized can go a long way toward effectively juggling work and family responsibilities. Here are some tips that may help.

Make a list (with your spouse, if married) of all household and child-related chores that need to get done on a weekly basis, such as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, bill paying, bath time, helping with homework, driving to activities, and so on, and divide up the list in a way that is fair and mutually agreeable. Consider giving older kids weekly chores to instill personal responsibility and to lighten your load!

Make another list for more occasional items, such as doctor’s appointments, car maintenance, lawn care, and seasonal items and figure out how and when these tasks will get done.

Use the weekends to get ahead for the upcoming week. For example, make dinners that can be reheated during the week or throw in an extra load of laundry. But don’t spend your entire weekend on chores. Being on a constant treadmill of “to-dos” can lead to stress, resentment, and burnout.

Try to build in some time for family fun and relaxation. In addition, try to carve out time for individual pursuits to the extent you can. The happier you are personally, the better you’ll be able to manage your busy life.

Embrace flexibility and communication

Life doesn’t stand still. Children grow. Relationships evolve. Work expectations change. It’s important to stay flexible and make changes when necessary. Is your work schedule still manageable? Are your children thriving in the routine you’ve established? Are you happy with the division of household responsibilities between you and your spouse? Revisit these questions from time to time and keep the lines of communication open with your partner.

Minimize distractions

Every family faces external pressures and distractions — work overload, a 24/7 mindset, technology, extended family, an endless stream of extracurricular activities. Only you know what your family can manage. Pick and choose your activities carefully and be wary of overscheduling. Learn to say “no” sometimes so that when certain opportunities come along that you really want to participate in, you’ll be able to say “yes.” Remember, you’re the one who has to execute the juggle every day, so guard your time wisely.

Keep the big picture in mind

At the end of the day, try to have realistic expectations and keep everything in perspective as best you can. Working outside the home when you have children requires a significant amount of mental and physical stamina. Let go of the idea that you have to try to “do it all.” Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Even so, be prepared for times when it’s hard to balance everything. In those moments, take comfort in the fact that you are providing for your family’s financial future and doing the best you can.

Balancing work and family is a highly personal endeavor, and there is no magic formula. It takes planning and resolve, and you’ll need to make choices along the way that align with what’s important to you.

Life doesn’t stand still. Children grow. Relationships evolve. Work expectations change. It’s important to stay flexible and make changes when necessary.

This content has been reviewed by FINRA.